No. The kids came to us as "kinship placements," which is a very loose term in the eyes of CPS. We have never been paid to have children in our home and, for now, have no plans to become foster parents. It's something we have loosely discussed and it could be a possibility later, but for now we "have our hands full!"
How old are the kids?
We get this question a lot! Since kids age daily, the easiest thing to do is give you their birth dates. In age order they are:
Stone 9/2/06
Cash 2/17/08
Holden 8/20/08
Analeigh 11/26/08
Yep... that's three kids born in '08, no typos!
Will you have more kids?
We've recently been praying a lot about this. The honest answer is, we don't know. We would, however, add to our family through adoption or work within the foster care system. Or at least that would be the plan. I've learned God has bigger plans for our family than I could every dream, so we'll let Him lead.
Why not any more biological children?
We just feel called to another path. We feel so blessed that our idea of family extends way beyond biology and love sharing our home and hearts with those in need. Since the moment we received our oldest son, our heart was broken for children within the foster care system, we pray that we can continue to reach out in love and minister to children in our home.
What kind of car do you drive? How do you load/unload all of those kids?
We have a GMC Acadia and I LOVE it! It works so well for our family - it's not a gas guzzler or a minivan, AND it does everything we need it to. The middle row has two captains' chairs, so it's easy to reach the way back to load and unload. Holden and Analeigh are both still rear-facing in their car seats, so they sit on the drivers side of the car, one behind the other. Stone is in the middle row, passenger side, so he can load/unload easily for carpool. Cash sits behind him. Cash will start pre-school in the fall, so this might all change depending on our needs at the time.
Who's Analeigh?
I (Brit) help with a Teen MOPS group at our church. Analeigh's mom is one of the girls in the group. She working hard to make a life for her and her daughter and Analeigh is staying with us while she figures it all out. She sees Analeigh often and loves her very much.
How do you do it?
We have a ton of support. Heath's mom has been amazing with rearranging her work schedule to help our family. She's here every Thursday and I honestly couldn't make it without her! Our neighbors and church family have been so willing to help with childcare and general things we need. Heath's job is flexible and we take a salary cut every year for him to "buy" extra vacation time. We also have a housekeeper that comes weekly. This is a huge luxury, but, for me, a clean, orderly house isn't negotiable. I have a very physical reaction to disorder, so it's a necessity. I could probably easily be diagnosed with OCD, as my blood pressure visibly rises at the sight of toys all over the floor or stacks of dirty clothes. A housekeeper is cheaper than therapy, so we go that route! All kidding aside, this is what works for our family and we've chosen to make budget cuts elsewhere to cover the expense. I also ask for a "housekeeper fund" for Christmas and my birthday, which helps offset some of the expense.
Do you plan on homeschooling your kids?
We've been thinking a lot about this lately and you can find my most recent thoughts on the subject here. I love working with the kids and teaching them new things, but question if I'm equipped to fully teach them everything they need. In addition, with the boys already working with ECI and special education services, we wonder if they would be best served in a school setting. For now, we're leaning toward public schools, but are open to investigating private schools specializing in learning disabilities and homeschooling if need be.
You mentioned special education services and ECI, what do you need them for?
Both of the older boys have been diagnosed with Apraxia. Cash just shows signs in his speech, while Stone seems to have Apratic tendencies throughout his body. Because of this, Stone also needs some special assistance with occupational and physical therapy services due to poor muscle tone and sensory processing issues. Both are currently enrolled in a special education pre-school run by one of the top speech therapy programs in the country. Information on Stone's most recent diagnosis and our treatment plans can be found here.
Do the kids share a room?
Yes. For now, Holden and Analeigh are together and Cash and Stone share. The little boys used to share a room, but Cash requires much more sleep than Holden. I'm sure this will continue to change many times as everyone gets older. While we absolutely love where we live, we have a long term plan to move closer to Heath's parents, out toward the country where there is more room to roam and much smaller school districts. Building a house that perfectly suits our needs is a dream that we do hope to achieve, but even then the kids will most likely share in some capacity. It's what fits best for our family, and seems to make our kids feel happy and safe.
What is your family philosophy?
We wrote a family mission statement during our first adoption process. You can find that here. We have also chosen verses for the kids, which can be found here, here and here.
How do you parent?
We try hard to let our kids learn from their own mistakes, but I'll admit it's hard to watch as your kids fail and not jump at rescuing them. We follow a lot of Love and Logic books and agree with many Laissez Faire parenting techniques.
Why do you blog?
I went through journalism school when blogs and social networking were just beginning to emerge. During this time I spent many hours in the classroom discussing the merits and impacts blogs would have. Never would we have imagined the impact and retail value of some of the best mommy blogs. As someone who used to be in the biz, I'm excited to see where it all goes! I'm a writer. For me, blogging is a great outlet and a wonderful way to meet new people, especially those in the adoption and learning difference communities. Above all else, it just feels right!
How do you budget?
We follow Dave Ramsey and use the envelope system, using cash for almost everything. Right now, we are debt free aside from our mortgage and have always been big savers. With the boys attending a learning difference pre-school with a high tuition, we're currently working to find new ways to save, which has resulted in us putting away less money each month and putting the kids' college funds on hold while we navigate through these few years. Budgets are always subject to change and we review ours often.
What kids stuff could you not live without?
I wrote this post when the kids were little, these are a few of our favorite things now:
* Go, Dog. Go! (Beginner Books)
